Why Hypnobirthing Isn’t For You

Why Hypnobirthing Isn’t For You

You might have heard about hypnobirthing  and how lots of couples are using it to prepare for birth. Perhaps a friend of a friend has done it, or you have read a bit about it in one of your pregnancy books. But you are wondering if it’s right for you.


I specialise in working with women who would describe themselves as anxious, worried or even ‘’totally shitting it ‘’ at the idea of giving birth.  They feel like they won’t be able to cope or that they somehow will ‘lose it’ on the day.


This fear usually means that they haven’t given much thought to the birth and have been putting off even thinking about it.


It’s my job to help them and their birth partners get informed and demystify everything so they feel way more empowered and perhaps even excited to give birth!


Hand on heart, I think that there is something for everyone in Hypnobirthing and it may be a case of you finding the right course or teacher for you, to work around your needs, values and budget.


But it doesn’t matter what I think, it matters what you think and if you are looking for reasons. Here are a few.



  1. Are you looking for a quick fix?


In a world where we are measured by our productivity. Time is a valuable commodity and you might be one of those people who never feels like they have enough.


I am sorry to say that Hypnobirthing is not a quick fix. You have to show up, you have to practice, you have to take what you learn in the sessions and make it personal to you. It takes commitment and it takes your time.


Imagine this.


You birthing calmly, your partner at your side and really feeling like a team.


Empowered by what you have learned and with a sense of confidence that you have the tools you need if birth takes an unexpected turn.


Is that with your investment?



  1. Are you looking for a magic wand for pain relief?


There is evidence to suggest that Hypnobirthing does reduce the need for medical pain relief but it’s not a given.


Pain is a subjective thing which means we all experience and describe it differently.


Some women describe labour as painful, for others an intense or powerful experience and for a rare few even orgasmic. Yep, you read that right


The irony is the more we fear it being painful. the more likely we are to experience the sensations as pain due to our body tensing up. You can read more on that here.


Here’s what I do know


However you experience the sensations in your body. There will be moments of down time, moments of rest in between your uterus contracting. Milli Hill tots it up in her Positive birth book the contractions only make up 7.7% percent of your total time in labour.


We are so used to pain being a sign that something is wrong.

But these powerful sensations you feel in your body serve a very important purpose, each and every one of them is bringing you closer to meeting your baby.

This is not the pain that comes with breaking a bone or standing on an upside down phone charger (ouch that’s enough to make my eyes water)

So what if instead of resisting those sensations, you welcomed them as a positive sign that you are going to meet your baby looked forward to it?


Reframing the sensations is just one of the many tricks you learn with Hypnobirthing


Lastly, you leave with an A-Z of coping strategies that leave you feeling empowered to make choices about how you get through it.


Birth can be challenging, birth can be tough and it can be Knackering! Sometimes you need a bloody good rest and that’s where some of the medical pain relief might come in useful.


There’s a famous phrase in Hypnobirthing which is hugs before drugs. I’m like why not hugs AND drugs?


Nothing is off the menu when you hypnobirth with the Calm Birth School , we just encourage to to research the pros and cons before the big day.


Are you open to the concept that some pain can be positive?



  1. You want the ‘perfect’ birth experience


Would you describe yourself as a control freak?


You like to know that everything is gonna go your way?


You are not alone!


The good news is that there is lots of stuff at your birth that you can control.


Your place of birth, your birth partner, your ways of coping, to name just few. And having a good birth plan helps to learn about your choices here.


But you can’t control what happens, or what someone else says to you on the day –  Only how you respond.


One of the first steps in creating a positive birth experience is looking at your mindset  towards what a positive birth can look like and leaving the idea of the perfect birth behind.


Are you still with me? Good



  1. You want someone to tell you the best/right/wrong way to give birth.


Wouldn’t it all just be a bit easier if someone told you what to do?


The quickest way to take away someone’s power is to tell them they don’t have a choice.


I am very passionate about couples feeling empowered about their birth and that the only right way to give birth is what feels right for you.


You know your values

You know your history

You know your instincts and emotions


Friends can give you tips. Antenatal teachers can suggest things that might help. Your medical team can can strongly advise but ultimately you have to decide what’s best for you and your family.


Making an informed choice where you know your options increases your chances of being happy with the outcome, even when circumstances mean your original birth plan changes.


So. If you have got to the end of this and I haven’t put you off then what are you waiting for?


You can learn more about how I can help you with Hypnobirthing by booking a free phone consultation or book a space at one of my monthly Hypnobirthing tasters in Walthamstow

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